How f-ing embarrassing

I felt the hussle and bussle of lunch as I waited for the green man to grant us passage across the busy road.  As the cars came zipping by, I  stared past the people across the way, daydreamming about what I was going to eat for lunch. The lights signaled walk and halfway across the road my left heel came loose and off my foot. I struggled to slip my shoe back on and I felt myself panicking with the 10 seconds I had left to get to the safety of footpath. With people watching (and sniggering at) me in the middle of the road as the oncoming traffic prepared to run me over, I staggered back to the other side of the road without my shoe. I watched in horror as the approaching cars came in droves and held my breathe hoping my shoe would not get crushed. As if it wasn’t already embarrassing enough that I was standing at the sidewalk with only one shoe on, I was mortified at the thought that I would have to potentially walk into a shoe store with either the one heel or no shoes on at all... Fast forward moments of pure humiliation and a couple of mitues later the traffic came to a holt and I hobbled over to my shoe. Luckily, other than the sheer embarrassment I was feeling, my shoe and I came out of the whole ordeal unscathed. I quickly picked up my shoe and put the bastard on.

I was totally frazzled and just as I was calming down I walked past a lady who I see in my peripheral vision dropping her banana bread and as I see it dropping to the floor in full sight, my catlike reflexes failed me as I also watch my foot step on top of this lady's lunch seconds later. OMFG, (I thought to myself) is this seriously happening right now? hahaha I apologised profusely and bought Lina (whom I will always remember as the banana bread lady) another slice cause I felt so bad...


I have to say that's the most eventful walk to the food court I've had in a long time.

Butterfinger... devil

Damn you Butterfinger so heavenly and hellish.

  Heavenly for your chocolate peanut buttery goodness & hellish for my fat ass which can't resist you. 

I was looking through my pics from my US trip from 2008 today and I remember scoffing down packets of the snack sized bars every day. I put on 5kgs in 4 weeks... Although eating all those churros and Jack in the Box may have contributed to that also.

My tummy doesn't feel good.

• Rice with left over roast beef for breakfast
• Espresso coffee with Chocolate wafer sticks for breakfast dessert (if there is such a thing?)
• 3 Empinadas, 7 freshwater oysters, 4 slices of smoked salmon, Rice with a lovely filipino stew for lunch
• Leche flan, watermelon, rock melon & gelatin  for dessert
• 2 mandarins & some more leche flan to tide me over until dinner
• Butter Popcorn & 1.5 litres of coke over a fabulous movie
• More rice with chicken and cashew nuts for din din
• Boy Bawang (this yummo garlic-flavoured snack) & red rock morrocan lamb and lemon something or other chips
• Another mandarin
• one last coffee on top.

It seemed like a good idea at the time to consume all of the above during a lovely Sunday, but my tummy doesn't quite agree. 

Last night I was trying to help Lionel's sister choose songs for her wedding. 'Trying' being the operative work as unfortunately, most of my suggestions didn't make the cut. I guess that could be because if it were up to me I would be playing Disney songs, The Beatles, Justin Timberlake and some other randoms for most of the night hahaha.


So I dedicate this song (one which did not make the list) to Steven & Vanessa, on your wonderful day and for the rest of your lives:





MUCH LOVE & CONGRATULATIONS
xoxox

David Ryan Harris- My BF

Another one of my absolute faves on my youtube playlist:.


ENJOY!!!

For my Dad & his shoehorn.

Apparently in addition to my 3 maybe 4 faithful readers- lionel and a couple of my gfs, my parents have also found a way to get to my blog link.

Now don't get me wrong my parents aren't total geriatrics but they certainly aren't spring tech-savvy chickens either and so I give them props for having discovered my link and double props cause they found it through FaceBook. Bless.

So my dad had a bit of blog envy when he saw that I had written a blog which took the piss out of my mum. So I thought it only fair to have a blog dedicated to my favourite dad, who is just wonderfully amazing, who is an inspiration and tells his favourite daughter everyday (most days) that she is great.

So, I thought I would share with you all my dad's latest and greatest doohickey the Shoehorn & friends this not the traditional looking shoe horn. It is is supersized. Observe below:

Of course when I asked my dad why he or anyone else in the world would use this contraption, he proceeded to enlighten me with the benefits of his most treasured tool:

• The back of your shoes don't get squashed
• This one is compact & portable (I mean I'm not sure why you would need take one of these anywhere)
• This one is adjustable to any height and angle so you can use while standing or sitting & most amazingly it has a wrist strap to help prevent dropping it.

I must admit after pleading his case and with some deliberation I am now a shoehorn convert. My favourite dad is getting his favourite daughter one for her birthday.

Farewell my dear friend.

Good bye my dear friend. We've had some great times together. I remember the first day I saw you, the first day I held you , we were a match made in heaven. I looked forward to our years together and I was excited for the experiences to come.You've been there to help me remember and capture the happiest moments, we've seen the world and back. You have always been a trusty companion and have stuck with me through the bumpiest of rides. But as of late you've not been as reliable as you once were and I'm afraid you've let me down. The once harmonious relationship we had is now dis-functional and I have to end it now. |Whilst we've ended on slightly good terms, I do mostly have fond memories. It is a sad case of, out with the old and in with the new, I'm sorry but I knew this day would come. Good bye my dear friend, my Canon IXUS 860IS you will not be forgotten even though you have been replaced.

Waiting, waiting, waiting in line....

Today was invariably a day of waiting in lines.

This morning I waited in line for a coffee & raisin toast before work

When I got to work, I waited in line to get through our swipe gates

Through the swipe gates, I waited in line to get into the lift

When I printed my meeting schedule for the day, I waited in line for the printer

In between a meeting, I called to change my direct debit details for my bills, I waited in line for the next customer rep

At lunch I waited in line to order my pad thai

And in doing some lunch time errands, I waited in line at the bank, at the supermarket and the post office (I mean who needs to receive things by post these days? The tax office that’s who)

Back at work, I waited in line to get into the lift

Up the lift, I went for my afternoon ‘nose powdering’ routine and I waited in line to go to the bathroom

Sitting at my desk, I drank the last of my water bottle and ofcourse when I got to the kitchen, I waited in a (short) line (but a line none the less) to fill up my water bottle

Home time arrives, I waited in line to get on the bus

I get on the bus and I waited in line to timestamp my ticket

I sit down on the bus on the way home and so came the end of a day, that was invariably a day of waiting in lines.

The moral of the story is that waiting in a line sucks balls & they really need to fix the lifts at work

On the way to work...

I woke up at 7 this morning. Snoozed twice till 7:22 and finally dragged myself out of bed. I wondered aimlessly into the bathroom in auto-pilot, going about my morning routine as I do every usual work day. I got in the shower to wash the sleep away & to warm up the left hemisphere of my brain. As I cleansed, soaped, conditioned I prepared for the onslaught of quandaries that would be on the other side of my 8:15 coffee. 

7:35 I glimpsed at myself in the mirror, dried, deoderised & dressed. For a moment, I remembered myself as a 6 yr old wanting to be a glamorous movie star and with one last look,  I wondered how I became just another white-collared stooge as I grabbed my bag and keys.

7:42 I drove out of the garage, turned the radio on to Kyle & Jackie O only to tune them out with my inner ramblings. I strategised my first meeting- agenda, attendees & outcomes. I was preparing for some difficult conversations, which blurred into a time when I was preparing for my first ballet recital. My agenda in life was to be a prima ballerina. The attendees would be my audience and my only outcomes were to entertain & inspire.

7:53 I arrived at the office and set forth through the automatic doors with swipe card in hand. I anticipated the hundred or so emails biding a response. My brain cramped with RSI provoked by the humdrum of replying to email after email. A monotonous task, where the only creativity required is to figure out another way to say 'fuck off' with decorum. I would say that I've become quite the wordsmith in this regard, but not the storyteller I once aspired to be. I remembered my book of short stories, now gathering dust in a box somewhere along with my imagination.

7:56 The elevator dinged "level 3", my stop to the time being. As I walked to my desk, I greeted passers-by 'good morning', smile in check & thoughts of my transit to work, a journey through pursuits that could have been slipt to the back of my mind. 8:03 I am logged on, ready for a days work and go about my way, like I do every usual day.

Just Lovely.

These rooms:
Take my breath away
Make me green with envy that someone gets to do this for a living
Make me want to redecorate our whole apartment

My Mum the Professional Ring Announcer

My mum is ridiculously fresh, bless her soul. Today we were watching a replay of a Manny Paquiao fight against another guy who he beat senseless.... but anyways, my mum playfully imitated the professional ring announcer Michael Buffer- "... Lets get ready to Raaaaaaaaaambooooooooooooooooooo!". I looked at my mum with a puzzled expression. "What was that ma?". My mum replied 'Let's get ready to rambo... like fight." My mum is too cute. Bless.

Happiness